Where to even begin with this incredible play-through of Fallout: New Vegas, where an intrepid speedrunner manages to sleep with every single eligible bachelor in record time? It’s the best thing I’ve seen all week, for one.
Runner tomatoanus has uploaded a heavily commentated video of his play-through on YouTube, and it’s absolutely worth a watch. Tomato walks you through every single glitch he uses to sleep with all eight sleeping partners available in Fallout: New Vegas. You might be thinking to yourself — wait a minute, how is this possible? Don’t some of these characters have sexual preferences? The answer is yes. However, speedrunners have discovered a glitch that allows you to change gender midway through your game through the manipulation of menus. Normally, you can only alter your character at the start of the game, during the Doc Mitchell segment.
Beyond this, there are a variety of other exploits and tricks used in the run that allow Tomato to blitz through the Mojave wasteland, doing everything from teleporting forward and clipping through walls as necessary. There’s also a duplication glitch, which comes in handy when doing things like delivering eggs to Red Lucy. And, of course, Tomato kills Benny right after sleeping with him, because we all do.
What gets me about this speedrun is how calm Tomato is as he methodically explains how he’s going to get into everyone’s pants. Speedrunning through New Vegas is already practically a science — players have been breaking their legs for speed and changing the game language to Italian, which is faster, for years, such that the main game can be beaten in a mere 12 minutes. But adding a challenge like sleeping with specific characters turns romance into a hilarious logistical puzzle where everything is transactional. Perhaps the most humane aspect of all of this is that you can see Tomato’s heart-rate at the bottom of the video, which increases in speed as it becomes clear that he’s playing at a good pace.
In the end, Tomato finishes the game in 28:38, which is the current world record for the “all sleeping partners” category. The next best time according to the speedrunning leaderboard belongs to KungKobra, clocking in at 29:56.